Wednesday, July 28, 2004

IAAA

IAAA. It stands for "I Am An Asshole". This is the new society that has come up. The purpose is to standardize the process of assholization and create an internationally acceptable metric for measuring its extent in and individual and the sociey as a whole. As an initial offer, the membership is free and open for all, independent of the extent of how much of an asshole you really are.

The Motivation : We all know that except hitler and two of my ex-roommates, nobody is born as an asshole. And its not the fault of the society (despite widely being perceived otherwise) that every single human amongst us turns up to be one in the first two decades of hsi life cycle. My aim is to establish that this is a natural and unavoidable phenomenon. The natural state in our existence.

The Name : The most prominent hurdle is the individual's lack of belief in himself/herself/bothself. I have met very few people who are willing to accept and declare that "I Am An Asshole". I also thought of International Society of Assholes (ISA) and Total Assholization Movement (TAM) but IAAA is something which speaks the philosophy behind the society in its name. Once we come to terms with the fact that being an asshole is not a big deal, it becomes very easy to think yourself as one of them. Is it so hard to accept? I can assure you that I have proofs and I can just make them public. It took me years to figure that out. Once you join IAAA, I can help you figuring out the process.

The Challenge : The most prominent challenge is to quantify it. When I say 'X is an asshole' what do I mean? I am just stating the obvious. It would be wonderful if we can say with conviction that "X is an asshole with assholicity 19.6". The quantification is tough and needs large amount of sample data. The issue is that its a highly relative number. X can be a complete asshole for Y but not much of an asshole for Z. Then how can we come up with a single number for it. the trick lies in teh fact tha tY and Z are assholes in themselves. So the measurement that they give is convoluted. I know the task is huge and complex but imagine how much this will benefit mankind.

The Mission : My immediate mission is to unify all like minded individuals. Those who subscribe to the philosphy behind this organisation. Then we will carry on to define the metric and create an efficient process to measure it.

One Important Question : Do assholes attract or repel each other? This question is irrelevant once we know that everybody is an asshole. Still it makes perfct sense when we add the assholicity number to it. Do people wih higher A numbers likely to hook up with similar people. Little research that I have done in this field, does not prove anything. After we devise a process to measure comprehensively the assholicity of a person, we will work on this.

Practical Applications: Tremendous. Its going to be bigger than IQ. Companies will have in their databases the tolerance level of assholicity of their employees. People will know the levels of their partners. It makes perfect sense. Its the next big thing.

3 Comments:

At 4:58 am, Blogger Niraj said...

HA HA HA!
This is the best post on your blog.

 
At 5:10 am, Blogger Anoop Saha said...

Thank You Niraj Jee.

 
At 8:57 am, Anonymous gutscheine zum ausdrucken said...

sehr guter Beitrag

 

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